


Show and (Don't) Tell

by nerav



Series: Sweeping, Undiscovered Worlds [8]
Category: THE iDOLM@STER, THE iDOLM@STER: SideM
Genre: Angst, Family, Legenders are family, M/M, Poetry, bad poetry pretending to be good, less a shipfic and more of a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 07:04:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerav/pseuds/nerav
Summary: Sora never expected to get relationship advice from his unitmates, of all people.





	Show and (Don't) Tell

Lounging by the dressing room window, listlessly gazing at the colorful leaves painting spots against the sunset’s rays, on a warm October day, Sora felt the sudden burning itch to write.

Conveniently, he came prepared. Even though he was at work—just an hour before he would have to throw away his comfortable attire for his tight, rigid Legenders costume—he always carried a fountain pen in his pocket, as well as a small notepad in his bag. He rushed to retrieve his supplies, as every second wasted slowly dwindled his inspiration.

As soon as he opened his notepad, he quickly jotted down the first words that came to his mind.

 

_Colorful Autumn_

Simple, and to the point. A perfect intro to his haiku. He didn’t even have to count the syllables.

Nature was an overused subject when it came to poetry, but Sora never touted himself as completely original. It went against his raison d’etre in being free, if he worried so much on what people want or expect. Even if he found that speaking from the heart wasn’t always the best thing, he wouldn’t be where he was now if he had listened to his conscience. Most likely, instead, he would have followed his brother’s footsteps in a dead-end job, just to pay the bills.

Thinking of his brother tightened Sora’s chest, so he diverted his attention back to his poem.

 

_Where a young, green leaf changes_

 

Sora paused. No, it wasn’t the right word to describe it; using ‘change’ felt too ‘safe’. He felt like he was writing another formal essay for his literature class instead of poetry. He scratched it in bold ink.

But what could replace it? He put the pen close to his lips as he pondered. His mind drew a complete blank. He wasn’t sure if it was due to exhaustion from this morning’s practice, or how loud Chris was speaking in the background as he rambled about hammerhead sharks.

His message was clear: autumn is beautiful, and therefore change is beautiful. But there were other ways he could make that same impression. How else could something green turn red, without being so blatant?

He considered the possibilities: turning red could mean heat of anger (no, too negative), too much drinking (he wasn’t writing humor), or pain (beauty can be painful, but not in this case). But green was hard to associate with any of those options. He brainstormed other, more specific instances.

The stem of a rose?

The leaves to an apple?

The camouflage of a chameleon?

Or perhaps—

All of a sudden, the image of Kuro flashed through his mind.

Sora blinked. Now that he thought over it, Kuro did fit that perfect definition.

His mind reeled back to when that green-haired young man turned red: just shortly, on the way to his dressing room, Sora had accidentally bumped into Kuro at the intersection of the hallway. He recalled, to his amusement, observing how that serious expression melted quickly into mortification, as he stammered out polite apologies as if he had just killed Sora’s father.

Just the simple thought made Sora’s lips curl into a warm smile. Kuro always gave him such high respect, far more than what he was used to having, despite both being the same age and equal status. He didn’t think he deserved such kind words, but he couldn’t ignore the fervent beating of his heart whenever Kuro complimented him in such an unwavering manner.

Ah, but he was getting distracted again. Slipping back into concentration, he buried his nose back to his notepad and revised his last line.

 

_Where a green leaf blushes red_

 

Better. He had to give himself at least some props for that. It also still maintained the seven-syllables limit of his previous line.

With that in mind, he had an inkling of what the final line should be. Color-changing was indeed pretty, but it was not the only thing that made Autumn memorable. During his youth, he remembered strolling through numerous empty pathways, taking in the scenery as leaves flew overhead. The leaves were so gentle and swept in a graceful, dancing fashion, that it stimulated all of his senses.

Again, Kuro popped into his brain as he soon as he thought the word ‘graceful’.

Yes, of course, Kuro was the embodiment of such elegance. Cultured since youth, Kuro always remained courteous and polite to everyone, never daring to swear or act irrespective. It was almost to a fault, as such seriousness needed to bend a little every now and then. Even Chris, who was also very polite, was willing to be a little casual with his unitmates. The rare moments where Kuro proved to be human, such as that bump, were just as precious as his default state.

In addition, Sora always admired how Kuro danced on stage, as if carrying all of Japanese culture with each steady step. Like the leaves, he flourished in such artistic form that even he was left speechless. Thus, it was such a surprise when Kuro admitted that it was actually his weakness; compared to himself, Kuro was clearly the teacher to his pupil status. Perhaps there was more underneath that pretty smile than he realized.

Smile.

Sora was struck with an epiphany. Hands twiddling with adrenaline, he finished off his poem with a cursive stroke at the last kanji.

 

_With a refined smile_

 

He found himself smiling as well. With so much idol work, he worried that his writing skills have gotten stale as of late. But today’s poem dashed away those subconscious, self-loathing thoughts, albeit momentarily. He neatly adjusted his notepad to read it off once more.

Before he could utter a single word, a familiar voice spoke over him.

“Ah, writing a love letter, I see? I didn’t consider you as the romantic sort, Kitamura.”

Sora widened his eyes. Curiously, he looked behind and found Amehiko staring right back at him. There was little space between their faces, as Amehiko had bent over to look directly at him.

“Amehiko- _san_ ,” Sora said, chuckling softly. “You shouldn’t scare people off like that~ With a face like that, people might think you’re harassing me~”

“Let me see,” he said, ignoring Sora’s snide remarks. He casually pulled the notepad off Sora’s hands. “Don’t mind me; I’m just performing my duties and making sure whatever written is clean, before you send it off.”

“A-Amehiko- _san_.” Quickly, he cleared his throat and smiled, not wishing to give Amehiko the satisfaction of hearing the quivering in his voice. “I’m glad you’re finally appreciating my writing, but I think there’s better ones that might interest you instead~”

Unfortunately, his composed bluff didn’t fazed Amehiko. He grinned like the sly fox he was, as he read aloud: “‘ _Beautiful Autumn_ —’”

Sora’s smile struggled to stay in place. He felt his cheeks burning. Somehow, with the mocking way he spoke, his pretty words left him cringing instead of feeling proud.

Amehiko appeared to have sensed his annoyance. He pressed onward, with the same smirk he always had when he felt like teasing others. “‘ _Where a green leaf blushes red… With a refined smile._ ’… Oh, that was it?”

“Ah, it sounds absolutely wonderful, Sora!” Chris interjected into the conversation without warning, pulling his eyes away from his heavy ocean-related textbook. Unlike Amehiko, who kept poking the bear with no remorse, Chris seemed genuinely oblivious to his subtle distress. “You truly have such a beautiful way with words! I can almost picture it in my head, even. I hope for your next piece, if you could write a haiku about seashells next!”

“I didn’t think it was my best, but I’m glad you enjoyed it~” Sora said, feeling his grin returning.

Now that Amehiko finished it, Sora felt a little foolish for his panicking. He wasn’t sure why it was such a big deal in the first place; it was just a typical haiku he usually wrote every day. There was nothing special about this piece compared to his other works.

Right?

”Huh.” At last, Amehiko’s amusement melted off his face. He lowered down the notepad. “Just another haiku. I suppose, in retrospect, I should have expected that.”

“I don’t see why you’d think otherwise~ I’m a little hurt that you forgot what I’m like so quickly, Amehiko- _san_ ~ Did you, perhaps, mistaken me for someone else~?”

“Well, when you’re making that kind of lovey-dovey smile, I assumed your mind must be elsewhere.”

“Did I really~?”

Sora brushed his fingers near his left cheek, vaguely sensing the phantom pain of where a smile supposedly was. His mind was too consumed with coming up with words, that his body just seemed to react on its own. Was he truly making some kind of face as he was writing? If only he had a video tape to be sure.

“You don’t normally make that face,” Amehiko continued. “Whatever you were thinking about must have been brought you some peace of mind.”

“I agree,” Chris said, nodding. “The way you looked… For a moment, I thought perhaps you were listening to the lovely melody of a humpback whale. At least, that is what I feel when I listen to the ocean in general… I’m glad that you finally felt that kind of love.”

Love?

Sora grew quiet. He couldn’t even find the words to retort at such an absurd suggestion.

For one, Sora didn’t even recognize that kind of emotion in the first place. Unlike his unitmates, Sora never felt too passionately about anything. He lived a humble life and kept his interests as casual as possible, all while bearing a fragile, pretty, smiling mask.

Too much passion, he found, would only hurt him in the end. He would either be disappointed with crushed hopes or dreams, or, worse of all, causing that same pain to others. It was why he preferred to keep a safe distance from other people, in order to ensure that his thorny personality didn’t burn off the few people who trusted him.

In a way, he envied his unitmates. He wished he could fully grasp all the love Chris had for the ocean. Or even how the usually-jaded Amehiko felt in regard to Chris in general.

But somehow, apparently, he gave off that impression. And the subject in his mind as he wrote his haiku was—

“Kuro- _sensei_ ,” Sora murmured _, “_ was the one who inspired me to write this piece, actually.”

“Kiyosumi- _san_?” Chris blinked.

“Yes,” he said, swallowing hard and not comprehending why. “Just him, nothing special at all~ I hope I didn’t mean to disappoint~”

“On the contrary,” Amehiko said, smirking, “that actually makes even more sense now.”

Sora raised his eyebrows. What was he implying?

He laughed awkwardly, hoping it was another one of Amehiko’s playful tricks. “Please don’t tease me like that, Amehiko- _san_ ~ Or else Chris- _san_ might take you too seriously~”

“For once, I’m not joking with you.”

Sora froze.

Chris inched a little closer from his seat on the sofa. “I see… I know you and Kiyosumi- _san_ are close friends. You always looked so happy when you told Kiyosumi- _san_ about the teas you tried drinking.”

“Don’t forget all those mushy phone calls too, Koron.”

“Ah, yes, that’s true as well, Amehiko! You’re rather cute when you’re around your friends. Almost glowing, in a sense. I know that as a unit, we are connected in a way—perhaps by fate?—but I feel it is still good to make relationships with people more your age, Sora.”

“Never thought it was _that_ kind of relationship though,” Amehiko teased.

“I admit, I’m surprised as well. But I think it’s wonderful still! It’s a beautiful feeling, to be in love.” Chris beamed as he closed his eyes, pressing a hand at his chest. “It’s the most joyous experience in the world… even amongst the Seven Seas, nothing could compare to it in magnitude.”

Just after he said that, Amehiko strolled over to where Chris sat. He lowered down and left a small peck on Chris’s neck. Chris smiled warmly, cheeks blushing pink. He brushed a hand over Amehiko’s, caressing in gently, before turning his attention back to Sora.

Normally, Sora merely brushed off the small displays of romantic affection between the two. But this time, as he gazed at them, he felt a sudden yearning. For the first time, he wanted to know what that was like.

And he wondered if Kuro was able to fit that role. He tried to imagine being in their shoes, with Kuro passing by to kiss him. He hoped any discomfort felt from that image would prove them wrong.

Instead, he liked the idea.

It also finally hit him. If they were both correct, then whatever face Sora had was actually very familiar. It was the very expression plastered all over Amehiko’s face as he watched Chris perform his solo on stage, completely spellbound by his everything. He remembered even mentally groaning when Amehiko acted so stunned after Sora brought it up to him, when it was just so painfully obvious.

Now the tables had turned, unexpectedly. And it frightened him.

Sora crumbled his fingertips over his lap, smiling wryly. “E-Even if that were true… I don’t think someone like me is capable of making Kuro- _sensei_ happy, really~”

“What do you mean?” Amehiko said.

“It’s not that hard to get, really~ Sometimes, I say a little too much, and people leave. I don’t think it’s incorrect to assume that perhaps I bring more trouble than good~”

“That’s not true in the slightest!” Chris exclaimed.

To Sora’s astonishment, Chris moved until he was right in front of Sora. Without hesitation, Chris embraced him in his arms. He held him tenderly for a few good, silent seconds before pulling away and fixing his posture.

Chris frowned. “Both you and Amehiko have brought nothing but joy to my life. If it were not for you, I doubt we’d be the same. You’ve put so much heart into both your words and actions, and helped our unit rise in fame, in spite of our different backgrounds. It was you who pushed us together in the first place as well.”

Sora was still stunned from the surprise hug. “Chris- _san_ ….”

“So please, don’t downplay yourself like that. If you made us happy, I’m sure Kiyosumi- _san_ would also appreciate that about you. And he already has, it seems.”

“He’s right,” Amehiko said, placing his hand on his hip. “You may have a certain way with your words, but your blunt honesty is always in the right place. Sometimes people need someone more observant to help figure themselves out.” He chuckled. “Like me, for instance.”

“Amehiko- _san_ ….”

“Besides,” he added, “I’m sure Kiyosumi needs someone to help mellow him down a little more. Perhaps your free lifestyle will inspire him to relax and act more his age. Tsukumo too, now that I think about it.”

Sora crumbled his bottom lip. He didn’t even know how to respond to this rush of emotions. It was a struggle enough to resist tearing up—and he hadn’t felt like doing that in so many years.

Sora always felt like it was his obligation to support the other two as best as he could. He had to be there to stop Chris from going too far with an ocean speech, or to pull Amehiko away before he intimidated the crowds. As the youngest, he helped them adjust to technology and school them on trends or fashion. He even worked on their scripts, to ensure they were cordial to the public, without discouraging what made them unique in the first place.

And in truth, Sora never minded in the slightest. It was hard work, sure, but he couldn’t have been happier with the results of his efforts. He almost felt proud that the other two looked up to him, despite their leagues of age and experience (not to mention, height) that separated them.

But for the first time, it was _Sora_ who was clueless and lost. And the ones who reached out to assist him were none other than the very people he supported all this time.

Sora smiled sheepishly, this time with genuine warmth. “Thank you for your advice, everyone. I suppose even I still have a lot to learn~”

“Don’t mention it,” Amehiko said. “Just consider it as us returning the favor.”

“The only debts I’m accustomed to are my college ones, but that’s a relief hearing anyway~”

“I’m glad we were able to convince you,” Chris said. He paused. “Will you consider reaching out to Kiyosumi- _san_ now…?”

Sora contemplated for a moment. The poem did open his eyes to a lot of things, including his feelings for Kuro. It would make sense then to tell him how he felt, as a typical ending to a light novel.

But real life doesn’t really work that way. As much as he’d like to experience what joy his unitmates had amongst themselves, there was no rush. Even on a platonic level, he could feel it a tiny bit by just hanging with Kuro and Kazuki.

He also had to consider how Kuro would able to handle it as well. Or if he would even like him back in the first place. The answer was obvious now. He let out a tiny sigh.

“I don’t think it’s a good time yet….”

He saw the look of disappointment tinted in their eyes. He had to fix that. “But,” he added, “I think I will try harder to convince myself to do it sooner~”

“That’s good,” Chris said, clasping his hands together. “Sailing safely and slowly is the best way to pass through a storm, after all. I was afraid we were pressuring you to confess at this instant, but I didn’t want you to ever consider not trying in the first place.”

“After hearing such nice comments, it would be a shame if I did now~”

“Glad to hear it,” Amehiko said. He pulled away from the sofa and returned the desk with his belongings. “Well then. I think this conversation dragged out a little too longer than expected. As enjoying as this talk was, there’s still some floors needing to be cleaned.”

Chris checked his phone. “Oh… I wasn’t even aware of the time. We should have been at rehearsal right now.”

“Oh dear~” Sora said, the airiness in his voice pumping back to its normal volume. “Producer- _san_ must be getting worried now~”

Amehiko chuckled. “If he wasn’t worried when Kamiya ended up in an entirely different city that one time, I’m sure he’d be fine with us running a little late.”

The other two joined in laughter, rising from their seats to make their preparations. The trio changed out of their casual wear and assisted each other with their costumes. They pulled up straps and tightened buckles in a short span of minutes. Once they were ready, Amehiko and Chris talked casually as they walked out of the room.

Before Sora could follow after them, he suddenly was hit with another inspiration wave. Quickly, he rushed back to his bag and pulled out his notepad. He jotted down all of his thoughts into another haiku.

 

_An occupied home_

_And several kind of loves_

_Make a family_

This time, the words spilled freely.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, a Sora-centered fic for once! This was more of a ‘test’ fic on writing Sora’s character, which is why it's not really a romance fic. I hope to focus more on 19gumi core next time. 
> 
> I liked SoraKuro first after the Xmas Live 2017 event, but really warmed up to Kazuki/Sora after the Writing For Someone mobage event... so I may write one with him instead in the future, once I'm more comfortable. It would have just been easier making it polyamory but I don't think I could write it well. So I may just opt to rotate the ships, to whatever felt more appropriate for the concept.


End file.
